DarrenTheDude

Of course I have been drinking. I asked someone what I should blog about and they said friends. That’s what I’ll do after this shot. 

… Time Lapse …

Aside from being an admitted and troublesome alcoholic, I am a very good friend. Those who have come to know me well enough should be able to attest to that. I’ll be there for you good times and bad, until you give me reason not to. Even then, I’ll always forgive you, until you give me a reason to not trust you.

Since people like to test me, my group of friends has shrunken to what feels like almost nobody. I know this isn’t unique to me. Most people can say they only have a few friends, and the lucky ones will have more than two best friends. I actually don’t trust people that say they have more than ten friends.

Not only do other people try to test me, but I also constantly test others as well. How was your first impression? Can you handle a few jokes? How many favors will you do for me? I’ll remember your negatives unless I like you enough to forget your shortcomings. Naturally, I’ll reciprocate accordingly.

I have a few friends right now, but I don’t want to depend on them doing anything for me. I’ve become used to doing things by myself and as much as I would prefer to have people around me, I won’t depend on anyone being there for me. There are some people I love, and would do anything for, but there comes a point where having that type of relationship just holds everyone in it back.

We all have our own lives—if anyone knows that it’s me. I’d hate to lose anyone I consider a friend just because we grow tired of our duties to support each other. But sometimes, it doesn’t seem like there’s enough to hold on to while putting my life on hold to try and maintain these relationships. It might be better to just start new and salvage what’s left later. Am I wrong to think that if you’re really good friends it will all still be there?

Friends know when to let each other pursue each other’s endeavors, but don’t forget to fight to hang on to what’s already there. If you have to let go, you’ll all understand. I already trust you to keep my best interest in mind, don’t screw me over by letting it go too soon or holding on too long.

I don’t really understand what I’m writing anymore. I never liked thinking about friendships. I can’t really control those. I prefer to think about things I can actually do something about. Thinking about whatever I can’t control is a bit of a waste of time and should be left for fate to handle.

Speaking of handles, I need another shot.

I’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunkI’m drunk

so fuck all yall

I’ve been battling alcoholism since July and I’ve been losing. But it’s just so much better! 

Until I saw that you fuckers were awake. Nevermind I’m getting off the internet now. Well at least this social shit. Hermit by nature.

I think I just pissed out any hydrating liquids I drank for the past month. I should go grab a glass of water or something. I’m only sharing this on tumblr cause I just raped everyone’s twitter timelines for the past three hours.

Wow for a drunk I’m a surprisingly good typist. Grammer nazi in da HAUS!

scholarships and financial aid and liquor save my life. typing is too hard. fuck this. I want another shot but I dont wnna die.